If We’re In This Thing Together… Why Is Everyone Being So Mean?
I’m leaning out of my 7th-story window ready to shout, when the sounds of a (very) amateur trumpet player blare from a nearby rooftop.
The dissonant notes are followed by a chorus of cheers, claps, car-horns, and banging pots from balconies, fire escapes, and gardens. It’s a motley chorus of disembodied expression thrown out into the evening air and empty streets.
It’s 7pm in NYC, the hour when the city’s medical workers change shifts and head home or back to work. We thank them now with what we can—a whole lot of noise.
Our sounds connect for those on the front lines who keep showing up, despite the tightening Coronavirus chokehold. I absorb the beauty of the moment, and can, for two full minutes, believe that we are all in this together—that unity will be our saving grace.
Then I log on to Twitter. Or Instagram. Or Zoom. Or read the comments section of a seemingly innocuous article. If I thought comments and posts couldn’t get more crass, critical, and downright mean, I was wrong. In a time when we should be bonding, the anger and fear we’re struggling with is being unleashed on whatever and whomever it can reach. And the anonymity of social media and online forums is making it so much worse.
In the past week, I’ve learned about trolls relentlessly bombing online Alcoholics Anonymous meetings with racist and sexist slurs and pornographic images, thus ruining the safe spaces many people turn to for connection and spiritual sustenance. Celebrities are been torn to shreds for posting pictures of self-isolating in their big, sunny houses or daring to complain about anything. Musicians live-streaming new songs are being called selfish opportunists. Groups have formed around enthusiasm for “Coronavirus Shaming.” It goes on and on.
Yes. There are inequities. And unequal distribution of wealth and services. And people who make stupid choices. But this has always been true. It’s the level of vitriol that’s emerged since this pandemic began that has me baffled.
I like to escape the reality of this scary time for a couple of hours each day. It’s better for my state of mind—and for the people around me. So I read about fashion, or film, or what celebrities are up to. I get out of my own head by window-shopping online and fantasizing about a trip I will eventually take. But these once forgivable “guilty pleasures,” are now, according to the online critics and many media outlets, shameful—if not plain wrong.
Are they, though? Because I also spend time reading about the logistics, statistics, humanitarian, and economic issues surrounding this pandemic. I reflect about the people dying, and those in mass graves. I fear for the families who can’t put food on the table and whose businesses have shuttered. I mourn a world that will never be the same, while trying to re-imagine what my part in it will be.
It sucks that I feel I have to defend myself if I want a little escapism.
So what’s OK to say during these times? What’s not OK? Are we allowed to say silly things or make fun posts without getting squashed by the maddening crowd? It feels like haters are waiting to pounce, screaming in all caps about their newly-thought-out rules of what’s appropriate and not. But who is making these rules? Are they healthy and kind? More and more, the answer is no. And what is it about bringing others down that boosts us up? Humanity is three dimensional, and we need to carefully, consciously, and conscientiously consider the way we react to others.
We’re going to need each other’s help, advice, and support, and we can only be of service if we quiet the resentment and anger towards people who are not exactly like us. In so doing, we’ll lift one another up, like the thousands of cheering people do for our workers every night.
I look forward to 7pm in New York. It’s what I know I can do today to encourage the good in people. But I can’t forget to ask myself daily what other kindnesses I can offer to counter the negativity. Because however pissed or uncomfortable we may be, we are in this together. Let’s make the best of it.
#covid19 #cornoravirus #NYC #Creageless #Quarentine #Advertising #marketing #creativity #actors #careers #ageism #jobsearch #NewYorkCity
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Sara Wofford is a contributing writer for Creageless.com, focusing on all things fashion, arts, and culture. She works freelance from her hometown of NYC, where she can be found tapping into the trends smart, savvy, stylish readers want.